Conversations with My Muse: My Muse Takes a Vacation

Posted: July 30, 2014 in Uncategorized

(This is what I received at 3:30 pm EST)

Subject: Vacation
Date: July 26, 2014

Hey there! Just arrived at my hotel room. The place is gorgeous! The view outside of my window is spectacular. Will unpack my belongings and head down for a quick toe dip in the ocean. Afterwards, a nap and dinner.

Hope all is well back at your place – talk to you soon!

The Muse

(This is what I sent at 3:47 pm EST)

Subject: RE: Vacation
Date: July 27, 2014

Glad to hear you made it there safely. Sounds like they set you up with some pretty decent accommodations. Dip a toe in the ocean for me too, k?

Talk to you soon!


(Time of new email: 6:23 pm)

Subject: RE: RE: Vacation
Date: July 27, 2009

Plans changed a bit. Met up with my sorority sisters and fellow muses. We’re going to the hotel’s bar for a quick visit and to gorge on some nachos and margaritas. Will email you before bed–say 10 pm? See ya!


The Muse

(Time of new email: 8:20 pm EST)

Subject: RE: RE: RE: Vacation
Date: July 27, 2014

Hey, how’s it goin? I’m GREAAAT! Sisters and I havng fun…met some good lookng guys from Italy – I think I helpd one of the guy write a sonnet once – not sure LOL!

Eratos starting to act a little too sluty for my tasts. She sure can slam down the wine!

Headin to a frat party. I think I might be a bit underdressed…idk


(Time of new email 2:17 am EST)

Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: Vacation
Date: July 28, 2014

OMG, I’ soooooo wastd! Frat party suckd – so we wnt bak to Thalia’s to wch sme comdy shws. Erato stole my byfrd – fckin B! Sh can walk hme!I knew I colndt trust her around hm.


Where’d tha fire exguisher?

Oh crap- the dor….siitt – cops here! gtta g!

(Time of new email 10:30 am EST)

Subject: Damage Incurred to Hotel Room
Date: July 28, 2014

Dear Ms. “TrackLady″:

I am writing to inform you of the current conditions of room #751 here at this hotel. Apparently, one of your personal acquaintances “The Muse”, six of her friends, an entire Italian soccer team and one grey, three-legged donkey took up accommodations in this hotel the prior evening.

Upon their departure, our housekeeping staff discovered the room in complete ruins. Damages include, but are not limited to: overturned furniture, torn draperies, unidentifiable stains on the carpeting, and what appears to be some form of “wood burning barbeque pit” in the foyer of the suite.

Since we are fairly certain the rented room was in pristine condition prior to your friend’s visit, we believe she is partially liable for the costs of repair. However, when we approached her this morning to inquire about the evening’s events, she was nowhere to be found.

Only through searching through her laptop records did we find your email address.

Please respond accordingly, so we can track her down and make her reimburse us for all damages associated with last night’s debauchery. Any help you can give us to locate her would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!


Hotel Management

(Time of response: 12:17 pm)

Subject: RE: Damage Incurred to Hotel Room
Date: July 28, 2014

Dear Hotel Security Team Members:

I am sorry to hear about the current situation at your hotel. I can only imagine how disappointed and alarmed you must feel concerning the state of room #751.

However, I do not know what I can do to assist you in locating the culpable parties involved. My muse has a mind of her own, and has been known to cause this type of trouble prior to today, on numerous occasions.

You might want to try to contact Hera, Zeus’ wife, on Mt. Olympus. She seems to be a bit of know-it-all busybody, and most likely would be able to tell you exactly where my muse and her six sisters currently are.

Good luck—let me know how things turn out!


  1. dougromig says:

    I don’t want to know what the three-legged donkey was doing there.


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