Archive for August 19, 2014

GodI have questions for God. Questions only he alone can answer, if he chose to do so. And since I have heard God is all-seeing, all-knowing, all-everything-everywhere, then I find it hard to believe he wouldn’t use social media, email or some type of texting service to communicate with his followers. He certainly shouldn’t reserve his responses to places like churches and battle grounds, right?

So, I hereby submit my questions to God. I’ve tried to get him to follow me on Twitter (since I don’t have Facebook), but so far the only person he follows is Justin Bieber. That douche bag gets all the special treatment, doesn’t he? (Bieber– not God – people aren’t killing other people in the name of Justin Bieber…yet)


black-cross-elastic-waist-long-skinny-polyester-pants1. What size and style of pants do you wear?


2. What color are your eyes?


???????????????????????????????????????????????????3. How much do you weigh?


4. Are you right-handed, left-handed, or ambidextrous?




5. What is your actual age right now?


6. Where do you go to the bathroom?bathroom-design-ideas-for-apartment


7. What kinds of food do you eat?


8. Do you have a belly button?


That’s all. I figure since people say you answer all questions, I thought I’d throw a few out there for you. Please be as thorough as possible in your responses. Except for questions #6 and #8, I’ve pretty much left them wide open for you.



(PS: Thanks for inventing the following things: ice cream, coffee, pizza, friends and dogs)

(PPS: We could use fewer cockroaches)